Local Man Causes Riots Within the Horse World
With a Simple Programming Trick

1st April, 2024

In a shocking turn of events, the horse world was thrown into chaos yesterday when Andy Ide, a local programmer and horse enthusiast, unveiled a new feature on his website, horserecords.info.

The feature, which allows users to easily keep track of the exact number of horses they own, sent shockwaves through the equestrian community.

"I thought I was doing everyone a favor," said a bewildered Ide. "I mean, who wouldn't want to know exactly how many horses they have? It just seemed like a no-brainer."

However, the reaction from horse owners was swift and fierce. "It's an unwritten rule," explained Mary Thompson, a longtime horse breeder. "You never, ever tell anyone how many horses you have, especially not your husband. It's just not DONE."

Chaos erupted at local stables and riding clubs as husbands suddenly became aware of the true extent of their wives' equine collections. "I thought we had maybe three or four horses," said one shocked husband, who wished to remain anonymous. "But apparently, we have 27. TWENTY-SEVEN HORSES! I can't even begin to wrap my head around it."

Protests and riots broke out at horse shows and competitions across the country, with angry horse owners demanding that Ide remove the offending feature from his website.

"He's disrupting the very fabric of our community," said Samantha Johnson, a professional show jumper. "If this continues, who knows what other secrets will be revealed? It's a slippery slope."

After days of intense pressure, Ide finally relented and removed the feature from horserecords.info. In a statement, he apologized for any confusion or distress he may have caused. "I had no idea the chaos I would unleash," he said. "I promise to never again meddle in the sacred traditions of the horse world."

As punishment for his transgression, Ide has been sentenced to clean the stables at the local racing track for a month. "It's a fitting consequence," said Thompson. "Maybe spending some time mucking out stalls will teach him to respect the unwritten rules of our community."

Despite the controversy, some horse owners are secretly grateful for Ide's short-lived innovation. "I have to admit," whispered one woman, glancing furtively over her shoulder, "it was kind of nice to know exactly how many horses I have. But don't tell anyone I said that."

As for Ide, he has learned his lesson. "I'll stick to programming non-controversial features from now on," he said, wiping sweat from his brow as he shoveled manure. "And I'll leave the horse world to its own devices. I've learned my lesson the hard way."